Parents often feel guilty about divorcing. They worry about the effect it could have on their children. Yet, if you feel you need to divorce for your own sake, then it’s probably going to be better for your children that you do. If you are in a strong, safe and happy place yourself, you are better placed to raise resilient, happy children.
Here are some ways you can help your children as they transition to their new reality:
Work together as co-parents
You need to communicate with your co-parent. If you find doing that face-to-face difficult, there are ways to make it easier, such as email or parenting apps. It’s not just the logistics you should communicate about but also the emotional state of your child. You may notice or be told things your co-parent does not and vice-versa. Sharing them helps you both to help your child.
Leave your child free to love you both without guilt
Your differences as parents should not be your child’s problem. Avoid speaking badly about your co-parent in front of them. Avoid those little expressions or sounds that can convey your disapproval of something your co-parent did without you having to say anything.
Your child should be free to enjoy their time with each parent. Be pleased for them when they have a nice time with your co-parent, otherwise you could create a situation where they feel the need to hide things to avoid upsetting you.
Divorce won’t be easy for your child, but by working together, you can help them get through it. Learning how to create a strong parenting plan is a good place to start.
