Parents who decide to end their marriage have to think about what’s going to happen to the children. The child custody and parenting time arrangement governs what goes on with them. There are many things that you have to think of when you’re going through the process of determining what terms will work for your unique situation.
One thing that parents might not realize is that you can use mediation to work with your ex to come up with the agreement. During this process, you work with a neutral third-party who helps to keep the discussions on track. You have to keep your temper under control and be willing to work as a team during this process.
The kids are the priority
The child custody negotiations must focus on only the children. This isn’t the time to discuss alimony or property division. The kids must remain the priority so that you can be sure you’re making decisions that are in their best interests. Neither parent should ever use them as a bargaining chip to get what you want in the other areas of the divorce.
Make sure that you and your ex are able to discuss the child’s needs freely during the negotiations. It’s best if you and your ex can work through the matters with only your divorce professionals present so you’re able to do this.
Your ex’s flaws don’t matter
You might not like certain things about your ex, but the child custody negotiations aren’t the place to bring them up. Unless your ex is putting your child in danger, such as if there is a history of any form of abuse, you shouldn’t bring up perceived flaws. Instead, focus on what they are like with the children. Even if they were a horrible spouse, they can still be an amazing parent. If you start to point out negative things about your ex, they might become defensive. This could lead to a contentious parenting relationship.
Terms should reflect the child’s current needs
The parenting time agreement and parenting plan must be set based on what the child need now, not what they might need in the future. It is possible to modify orders as the child’s needs change and they become more mature. This possibility enables you to think only about what’s necessary to provide a stable environment for your children to thrive in now.
